I guess to tell Opal’s full birth story, we need to start with my other three births.
- Miles, my first, was a planned epidural birth.
- Finley, my second, was an unplanned, unmedicated birth (I was trying to get the epidural, but it happened too fast).
- I actually ended up really enjoying the experience of an unmedicated birth, so when Tate (number 3) came along, it was a planned unmedicated birth.
Tate’s birth felt so different because I went into it planning for an unmedicated birth, and I did a lot to prepare for labor. Ultimately, his birth was a very positive experience, but one thing I felt I was missing during labor was a voice of reason—someone who could remind and guide me when I reached those parts of labor that are so intense your brain shuts off. So, for this pregnancy with baby number 4, I knew I wanted a labor doula. I tend to labor quite quickly—things get intense fast—and I needed someone there who understood labor and how to guide someone through it. Someone to be my voice of reason. So I hired a labor doula in my first trimester.
Now, Opal’s birth story actually starts around 34 weeks of pregnancy. I had a growth scan, and they told me the baby was in a breech position. I spent the next 4 weeks doing everything I could to flip her around. Ultimately, I had a successful ECV, and at 38 weeks 1 day, she was finally head down. You can read the entire story here if you want to know more about my experience with the ECV.
A few days after my ECV, my mom arrived in town to stay with us so she could be with the older kids when I went into labor. We were ready to go! All my past pregnancies went into labor spontaneously at 39 weeks, and all were born at 39 weeks 1 day. While I knew this didn’t necessarily mean Opal would arrive then too, there was definitely a feeling that it could happen. And, when 39 weeks came and went, part of me felt like I was passing my due date. My doula did a great job of keeping me level-headed about it.
The next week dragged on, but I was somewhat enjoying the quiet time. Since I had planned to have a baby by then, my calendar was pretty empty. I was feeling very pregnant, very exhausted, and starting to worry that my mom’s time with us would run out before the baby came. On top of that, I was having a ton of Braxton Hicks and false labor. As much as I tried to turn my brain off and stay distracted, I was constantly on edge when contractions would start, only to taper off again.
Then, on Friday morning (40 weeks 1 day), I woke up with contractions that were following a set pattern. In my experience, the big difference between labor contractions and Braxton Hicks is consistency. Braxton Hicks tends to follow an irregular pattern—you might get one or two decent ones, then not another for 30 minutes, then one an hour later, then one 13 minutes later. They are all over the place in timing and frequency. Labor contractions tend to be more consistent, growing longer and/or closer together, and eventually, more intense. The contractions I was having that morning were coming every 10 minutes, then every 5-7 minutes. It was around 6 a.m. when I was quite positive I was in labor.
I texted my doula that things seemed to be ramping up. I woke Michael up and said it wasn’t time to leave yet but that he should be ready. By 6:45, it was time to get the kids up for school. I remember texting my doula, saying, “I wonder if getting the kids up will slow things down?” I know from my previous labors that sometimes a distraction can slow my labor (like when I arrive at the hospital, my labors usually stall slightly during the check-in process). Lo and behold, the minute I got the kids up and made breakfast, the contractions slowed and then by about 7:15 they stopped altogether.
By 9 a.m., the kids were off to school, and my mom was with my youngest. I went upstairs to chill in our bedroom for an hour with some music and dim lights to see if things would pick back up. I felt exhausted from the morning’s flurry and passed out on the bed for a nice little nap. I woke up, and all signs of labor were gone. I decided to go about my day. Michael and I went out to lunch, and I had a few contractions here and there. The day went on. I took another little nap (just in case I needed the energy) before the kids came home from school. We ordered a pizza and hung out on the porch. Michael did the bedtime routine while I left to pick up our pizza. The minute I was away from the kids and alone in the car, the contractions started again. They were still pretty inconsistent, but I just knew labor was coming this time. I had known it would stall when my kids woke up, and now that they were off to bed, my brain let me go back into labor.
I brought the pizza home, and Michael was still finishing putting the older two kids to bed. I felt bad eating dinner without him, but I really had this feeling labor was coming, and I didn’t want to miss eating. Contractions started coming every 10-15 minutes. Michael came down, and I told him to eat something because I thought we’d be heading to the hospital soon. Over the next 30 minutes, the contractions picked up to every 6-9 minutes, and I texted the doula that we were getting ready to head to the hospital in the next 15 minutes. As I mentioned, I labor quickly, so once my contractions are consistent, it’s time to move. I don’t have the luxury of time or laboring at home. We were on our way by about 9 p.m.
It takes about 30 minutes to get to the hospital. I had consistent contractions during the drive. They were definitely getting more intense but still manageable. By the time we parked and walked into the ER, it was around 9:45. The front desk said an escort would come down to meet us and walk us up. Standing in the ER waiting room, a contraction hit me, and I leaned over a chair, gently rocking through it. A nurse passed by and said, “I know that sway when I see it,” and kindly grabbed a wheelchair to take us up to L&D so we didn’t have to keep waiting for an escort. They took me straight into a delivery room. I think it was pretty obvious I was in labor, so I was able to skip triage. They did the normal intake stuff. I was having pretty strong contractions at this point, but they were still manageable. However, they were at the point where I couldn’t talk through them anymore so check-in took a little longer. I got into my delivery gown. They took some vitals, asked some questions, and around 10:45 they checked me and I was 4 cm. I remember being a little surprised because I thought I would have been a little further along because of the intensity of the contractions. Just after 11pm, my doula walked in.
Within 10 minutes of her arrival, my contractions took a turn. They went from manageable to much more intense. She even commented on how different the second contraction was from when she arrived. I think, just like how my body wouldn’t let me go into labor when my kids were awake, my body was stalling labor a little until I knew she was there. Over the next 30 minutes, my contractions continued to get very intense. I remember the urge to push hitting me, and I felt a little anxious and panicky because I thought there was no way I was ready to push—I had just been 4 cm only 30 minutes ago!
They checked me again around 11:30, and I was 6 cm. The contractions continued, each feeling more intense, and each came with more of the urge to bear down. Somewhere in there, my water also broke. My doula was exactly what I needed—a voice of reason. She held my hand, reminded me to blow against the urge to push, and assured me that we would be following my body’s instincts. By about 11:50, the urge to push became almost too strong. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I was checked again and told I was 9-1/2 cm. They said there was just a little lip left and that if I wanted to push, I could, or I could try to wait through a few more contractions to reach 10 cm. Again, my doula was what I needed, sort of talking me through this. I managed to get through maybe 2 or 3 more contractions with the help of my doula, and then I just couldn’t wait any longer. The urge to push was too strong, and just around midnight, I began pushing. On my second contraction of pushing, I felt a small sense of relief as Opal’s head was born, and then, with one more push, her body followed. She was born at 12:03 am.
They immediately brought her up to me. It’s hard to explain the feeling of those first few seconds after birth. It’s the most overwhelming feeling I’ve ever experienced—relief, excitement, gratitude, and almost blissful euphoria. Not only is all the intensity of labor basically immediately gone, but you’re also holding your baby for the first time. It’s the most powerful feeling there is.
Opal had a short umbilical cord, so she could only be placed on my stomach at first. (Also could be the reason she was breech) I opted for delayed cord clamping, so I held her there for a few minutes until the cord was clamped and cut, and then I was able to bring her up to my chest. They were working to get her to cry more. She was crying a little but had a lot of fluid, so we were rubbing her back, trying to get her to cry more to clear it out. I remember just kissing her little head, so glad she was here. Eventually, they did have to move her to a table next to my bed for about 2-3 minutes to suction out a little more fluid, but she was quickly whisked back to me for skin-to-skin, where she stayed for the next 3 hours.
I had to get stitches, as I have with all my births. Honestly, the only part of unmedicated births that’s tough for me is this part, haha. It’s not that bad, but it’s just uncomfortable, and all you want to do is snuggle your baby and you have to sit there with someone sewing you up, pinching and pulling. It feels like it takes forever for them to finish.
But finally, they were done, and the room cleared out. Our doula stayed for about an hour, and we just laughed and talked. Opal nursed for the first time. Around 2 a.m., it was just Michael and me. I was too high on adrenaline to sleep, so I told Michael to take a little rest so he could let me sleep later.
And just like that, I was a mom of 4.
